As I sit in front of my laptop wondering what to write, I am replaying the things I did today and the moments that consists them. Moments are something you can never redo, and that’s its values I guess. It’s the building up of each small tiny milliseconds of moments that makes up this huge map called life. That’s how I started to think of what life is.
I’m writing this meaningless introduction without any direction or theme on what to write. But even though I don’t know what to write, and it wouldn’t be anything useful or inspiring at all, I’m still going to keep on writing whatever it is. It’s like breathing in and out that you unconsciously do, reading and writing has become a big part of who I am over the years and although the quality of the things I write is extremely poor, I know that I would want to keep writing like this for the years to come.
As I walk through the endless stream of people at Tokyo station, the air, the sky maybe, overwhelms me and my mind is drifting through the flow of people. Voices, lights, the traffic and the train surrounding you like a spider’s web, nowhere to run, nowhere to do hide.
Entering the cinema, my memory takes me back to when I first entered this place and remember that it was the first place I went to the cinema alone. Until then, because I’ve always lived in the rural area, access to the cinema was by bus or car and my family or friends were always there. Sharing moments with the people you know well is a pleasure but at times, you just need to be alone. From that moment when I set my foot in that place, I knew that I cannot go back somehow. It may sound like I am over exaggerating things a bit but that’s how it felt.
And to come back to this place after two years living in Tokyo, it reminds me so many things I’ve learned and seen in this city. I still don’t think that this place is for me, but I’ve grown to love this place a little bit for it’s good side, the lazy train rides in the afternoon light and walking through the busy street with your beloved playlist ringing in you ears.
Adjusting can come so naturally. But for me, it scares me. The longer I linger in one place, it pushes me to start moving again. That’s how my life has been for the whole time and I think that’s what makes me who I am now.
Life keeps moving, and so will I.
I’m ready to move on to something unknown, somewhere,
pages blank and stories to be weaved.